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Monday, January 9, 2012

Signs of a Troubled Relationship



   
                                                                                              photo by: Nur Emir

How do you know when the relationship is in trouble? Do we need help to save it or just say goodbye and walk away? Some couples wait too long to ask for help. They were hoping that the relationship can be repair and strengthened  if they give it a time and consideration  too long until  it is already beyond repair. The sooner we sought for help the better chance of  recovering. The longer we wait, the chance and hope for a change is lost. At a certain point we don't even want change anymore. We just want it to be done and get a new life.

Here are the warning signs that a relationship is in trouble :

1. There is no more intimacy in your relationship. No more sweet kisses, both of you were sleeping in different rooms, you do talk but will only end up into anger.
2. Fighting has been a part of your life. There are always reasons to hurt each others feeling as the days pass by.
3. No more attraction. You even can't remember what attracted you to your partner. The thought that he/she was the most amazing man/woman you have ever met was gone.
4. You spend little time with each other. You feel better with other people. Friends are more important than going out with your partner.
5. There is a feeling that the relationship is over but you don't know where to go or how to start all over again.
6. You feel lonely even if he is around trying to make you happy. You don't care about how much he tries to make you happy anymore.
7. You find comfort, understanding and care to other people.
8. You don't want to talk about your plans and thoughts with him.
9. You hate to see his/her face or even hear the once sweetest voice you ever heard in your entire life.
10. You lost interest with his activities.
11. When you no longer worry where your partner's at.

So before you reach the critical point or something more drastic things happen such as physical and or verbal abuse, look at the warning signs and do something before it's too late. Talk to a religious adviser or a leader of your church. Seek  a marriage counselor or a psychotherapy. Someone who has a Christian counseling degree may be able to help you. Reading books will help too. Without help, the relationship will not get better and might become worse. Take immediate action to save the relationship and if all things done and nothing has changed then that is the time to walk away and say goodbye.


36 comments:

  1. Very nice entry. this will help especially to those who don't easily recognize what's happening into their relationships.

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  2. Nice tip mommyTess, hope every relationship will visit this post
    God Bless!
    My link post read your lips - the game of writing
    >>Click here to return to Filipino Bloggers Wordwide ExCom<<

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  3. It takes two to tango. It takes two to grow in love and nourish it so it won't end up troubled.

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  4. Huwag niyo ng hintaying saktan kayo. Alamin agad ang mga senyales ng pasirang relasyon. :)

    Honestly, mararamdaman mo naman yun at pag-naramadamam mo na yun, it's best to sit down and talk about it.

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  5. ok pa marriage ko, wala ko check dun sa 10 points mo. =)

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  6. i should have read this one before its too late. I learned. thanks

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  7. and if I may add...

    When you no longer worry where your partner's at.

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  8. for me, once you experienced number 7 be ready to end your relationship. nice post.

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  9. It all goes back to the viral video I saw a couple of months back, 'Strangers again'. I wrote about it and it became one of my blog's most viewed articles.

    @Tess, please fix your bullets. It's kind of difficult to read and looks cluttered. Just a bit of constructive criticism. :)

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  10. These are the exact points ms tess, nice entry;) wil share this to my frends and of course to my wife jejeje ty poh,,,

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  11. nice article you have here... hope everyone can read this article ....

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  12. It happened too fast for me; faster that I could address the signs. There were other factors involved; only a handful but they proved fatal to the relationship. Ah well, we keep moving forward. The sun is shining behind the clouds.

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  13. if you think your relationship is on the rocks, seek God's help and people who you think will counsel you.

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  14. Nice tips. A partner should always have a clue on what is happening on their relationship. This is very helpful para magkaroon tayo ng hints. Thanks.

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  15. thanks for sharing po! hehehe natuto ulit ako

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  16. This is absolutely true. I broke up with my ex boyfriend two years ago because I felt like I was no longer attracted to him, I didn't care as much about what he was doing, I felt that I couldn't see a future in our relationship and we were better of as friends. :)

    Thanks so much for sharing!

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  17. My wife and I will be having our 36th wedding anniversary soon and still we are watch our relationship so it could grow some more. Thank you for the above guidelines.

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  18. This is a good advice for a couple who are in the rim of breaking up a relationship. The signs are more than enough to be on guard. These things are to be acted immediately as the saying goes, do not wait for tomorrow what you can do for today. Otherwise they will regret later.

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  19. That was worth of reading. I learnt few signs of troubled relationship.

    Keep writing, posting and sharing.

    Cheers Tess!

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  20. This is the reality. Hope the martyr ones will be able to read this and finally realize..and I'll add din po- when you humiliate each other in front of other people it's also a sign...

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  21. sadly i can't relate.lol well obviously im happy with my current rel right now and gone were the past not-so-good rel. anyhow, relationship is really something to hold on to...

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  22. the signs you've mentioned are all true. it's not happening to me since i don't have somebody except my friends and family but i could feel those signs for my friend.

    well written!

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  23. when everything he says or does pisses me off ... that's when I know things are in trouble

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  24. indeed. these are the things we don't wish to happen... if this is on my checklist, i will be happy to leave it all unchecked :-)

    there's no such formula to make a relationship work - if you're compatible, it will really work.

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  25. this is so true. Been there done that haha

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  26. my motto is if not ukol hindi bubukol, if hindi na maisalba ang relasyon iwanan nalang

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  27. oh dear, I hope this never happens to my relationship...


    Much support, Christia
    _______
    Savouring Didi’s Pizza from Christia's World

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  28. ok. now we know the signs.. now what?

    update to the blogpost please. nabitin ako!

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  29. ganito sign namin ni misis. meron ba kayo alam na pwede namin puntahan? i want to save our relationship kaso mukhang ayaw na nya. haaayyyy

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  30. i love the post but i hate the signs. I hope that with God's guidance and family&friends support, we will always be loving and happy partners.

    But if the love is really gone better let it go.

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  31. @anonymoos,matanong ko lang,nagsisimba ba kayo together? kasi kung may church kayo ,may mga elders or leaders na pwede mag advice sa inyo at may mga marriage councelor din pero iyan ay kung papayag si misis.hirap ano? naranasan ko yan sa 1st hubby(ex)ko.we ended up in divorce ,siya ang umayaw(muslim wed kami kaya may divorce)pero buti na lang din kasi ,nakapag asawa ko ulit at happily married.Anyway, sana maayos mo marriage mo.try to understand her at mag usap kayo ng masinsinan .ask her ng maayos at mapayapa para malaman mo mga pagkukulang mo at ng masolusyunan nyo.at konting pasensya at malumanay ka sana sa pag uusap nyo .if medyo heated conversation ,just walk away and give her time .paunti unti at mahabang pasensya.syempre ipafeel mo rin how much you love her.hope makatulong ako.

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  32. As for my marriage, we knew there was a problem but we didn't want to work things out anymore. And now, we are both happier.

    I could use those tips with my present relationship :)

    thanks

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  33. Very nice tip! This is a good warning to those who still have no idea what's going on with their relationships.http://travel-on-a-shoe-string.blogspot.com

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  34. Maintaining a relationship in this day and age is very challenging but the age-old secret has always been "work at it." However, there are also instances when relationships are so troubled, there is no recourse but to get out. Many do not see the symptoms early though, or they either turn a blind eye in the hopes that it will be fixed. Either way, every relationship needs to know the points stressed in your post so that they can make the proper evaluation.

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  35. true warning signs. but at times when one partner is too blinded to see the signs so they end up very hurt. :(

    thanks for sharing this post.

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