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Friday, December 30, 2011

The 28 Golden Rules for Mistresses

For those working overseas or commonly known as OFW, being a mistress or knowing somebody who is a mistress is not knew anymore. But don't blame it all to women because there will be no mistress if only husbands are faithful to their wives back home. So if you are a mistress, querida or kabit, read carefully and learn if you want peace and harmony under your roof.

1. Mistress is not Mrs. Know your place.
2. Even if he tells you he loves you more than his wife, don’t let that go to your head.
3. Mistresses should be ready to give up Valentine’s Day, Christmas Day, New Year’s Day, Holy Week and his birthday (that’s why mistresses are also called “holiday orphans" because of this).
4. Befriend his secretary but avoid all contact with his driver (Whether he is a company driver or the family driver, the chauffeur is not to be trusted. Family drivers owe their allegiance to whoever pays them their salary and who feeds them the free meals in the kitchen with the other help. In short, they are loyal to the Mrs. more than the Mr.).
5. As tempting as it seems, don’t patronize the wife’s beauty parlor, jewelry shop, dress shop, or father confessor.
6. Don’t call him, wait for him to call.
7. To be seen with him in public once is risky. The second time could be fatal to one of you. The third time is The End for both of you (love is lovelier when it’s forbidden. Because it’s forbidden, it’s supposed to be hidden).
8. Never believe, and never say anything unfriendly about his wife, not even after he recites a litany of her faults.
9. Mistresses are kept by rich men. But a mistress who is a woman of substance and independent means is better (Translation: Don’t ask him for money).
10. Be discreet (Make sure he is not the type to talk in the sleep).
11. Never travel together (Accidents will always happen. You can never tell).
12. When he breaks a date, charge it to fate, not his fecklessness (Men will be boys. They will forget to call. They will break a date at the last minute. They will stand you up. They won’t explain and they won’t ask for forgiveness. But don’t cry nor throw a tantrum. Don’t break down because a mistress is supposed to understand a man more than his wife does).
13. Wives have their own networks of spies and amigas. It is helpful for the mistress to have her own. A chaperone is not a good idea, however (Chaperones are passe. Besides, they talk).
14. Mistresses don’t complain (They shouldn’t. It’s the wives, according to the husbands, who are “always complaining").
15. Being No. 2, the mistress tries harder.
16. Send him home as soon as it becomes apparent that he’s overstaying.
17. It is practical for a mistress to be linked to another man, preferably her lover’s friend.
18. If he’s a public man and you’re thinking of staging an accident of running into him, think: How many accidents can I pull off in one month?
19. Don’t make unnecessary enemies of his children.
20. Remind him to pay for everything in cash – dinner, flowers, perfume, champagne, pearls, diamonds, a microwave oven, etc….
21. Don’t use tears as a weapon. He’s probably had enough of that from the Mrs. (Wives nag. Wives cry. If only for that reason, a mistress doesn’t use tears to get what she wants).
22. Resist the urge to be found.
23. Perish all thought that someday you’ll be No. 1.
24. Married men who keep mistresses don’t like surprises, as a rule.
25. A man with a mistress leads a double life, his mistress only a half life. Cheer up! A career will make you whole.
26. Resist the urge to shower him with gifts. Evidence, evidence….!
27. When in doubt, disappear.
28. When all else fails, leave him.

by Ms. Julie Yap Daza in her book "Etiquette for Mistresses."


  1. i was curious meron palang etiquette ang mistresses! i though they all abandon those when they decided to be one...

  2. So many rules. My advice: never be a mistress.

  3. may ganito talaga?

    at bakit ko binasa yo ng buo?

  4. hahahahaha ... natawa naman ako dito ... hahahahaha ... kaloka!

  5. katuwa naman to! may ganito talaga?! hehe..

    Never be a Mistress. Period.

  6. na curious tlga aq sa title ms tess:) pang NO OTHER WOMAN tlaga ang topic,,, "we have the right love at the wrong time..." for sure madmi nakakarelate d2 jejeje PEACE:)

  7. Whoa! I didn't know that rules for mistresses exist 'til now. Pero, grabe. Haha!

  8. I agree with Lourdes NEVER BE A MISTRESS. Respect yourself. Be NUMBER 1 and the only One!

  9. I super love Julie Yap and this article :) first time I read it was last week, I just laughed...malaking wake up call to... :))

    never expect...never demand...never be a mistress!

  10. Nako may ganito pala Ms. Tess! So hard to be a mistress pala! Hahahaha I don't think I can ever follow al these rules so better avoid being a mistress! :D :D I read everything though! hahahahaha First rule of batle, know your enemy. heheheh

  11. Aww! I didn't know they have these. Hmmm, ive seen a lot of mistress - mrs action over the years and i must say all ended pretty bad. Abortion, court case, dismissal from work, et al

  12. naku wag naman sanang merong ganito sa buhay mag-asawa namin ng hubby ko, pero minsan in bed I am a mistress to him, ng wag na syang humanap pa ng ibang mistress hihihihi

  13. I hope you don't mind me asking.. are you a mistress?

  14. @pehpot . no I am not a mistress .i got married 1st to a Middle Eastern ,a muslimm wedding were divorced is allowed and valid .i got married again to an American were there is a divorce to but i am not thinking of it right now as i am happily married.

  15. This thread seems to be for missus only so please bear with me. Though I never had a real mistress, I would love to have one if she could follow the rules enumerated in the article. Just kidding and by the way, I'm a mister.:)

  16. Julie Yap-Daza is a great and prolific writer and provided a standard for all mistresses to follow if one lives a peaceful life haha.

    sa mga kabit naman, wag na OA masyado.

    I dont keep mine for I had been faithful.

  17. Kawawa naman ang mga mistress pala. Wag na kasing magpa-mistress!

  18. haha, ako din nakibasa ng buo dito. nakakatuwa talaga si ms. daza.
    bottomline: wag maging mistress:)

  19. I'm a mistress and I am constantly being cancelled on at the last minute. It's INFURIATING!!!! But you just have to deal with it. I don't recommend being one to anyone. Especially if you don't have a thick skin. But if you are, I suggest having a little someone for some something something for emergencies. Totally secretive of course. An no I don't expect anyone to understand me.


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